13wks 4days - Long awaited pictures

Well, Dan and I have been working really hard, at work and on the new bathroom, and while I've been taking pictures of the baby, I haven't found time to post them until now. Sorry, I'm a bad daughter (inlaw and regular), but hey, now you practically get a photo album. Besides, anyone who actually knows me should not be surprised by this lapse--when do i actually keep up with anything the way I mean to? (Good luck, baby kee...)

So, in the last few weeks, our phone and computer died. We've bought a new computer (the macbook--annelise will be so proud), but not a new phone. We also turned 26, which we celebrated at Chevy's with a rare day where we were both off of work and basically alone together for the day. Ahhh... that was nice. Another perk of the birthday is that people have started purchasing from the Baby registry. It's so cool, not just because they thought of it, but now we have tangible *stuff* for the baby. I'm not excited about having to get the baby a ton of stuff in our already crowded house, but having a few things is just neat, almost like we aren't really dreaming and we might actually be having a baby this year!!!

Ok, so on the the photos. Here's a sampling of what we've collected over the last several weeks. The full collection can be viewed on the flickr page, of course. (Just click on the pictures to get to it.)

11wks 3days - Showing off my arms and legs!
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon..

11wks 5days - Just chillin' in my Womb
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

12 wks 0 days - 3D
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

12wks 3days
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

12wks 4 days - Head Shot
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

Hi Everyone! 12wks 6days
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

11wks 6days - Hi Baby!

11wks 6days - Hi Baby!
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

I haven't had the energy to edit and post all the pictures we've gotten in the last couple of weeks, so here's one a bit belated...

This one's from today! 11wks 6days, he was jumping around, stretching his legs all the way out, and reaching out and waving with his arms. He jumps and moves more when I sing to him or when I'm laughing, and sometimes he'll just sit there and reach and stretch, arms then legs, and curl up and go to sleep. How adorable! I've come to cherish times like today when I have time to watch him on sono--he's got such a little personality already. I'm not sure I can convey what it's like to be able to watch him grow day by day inside me like this, and get to know how he's changing and the new things he can do... it's amazing!

First Prenatal Visit - 11wks 4days

Dan and I went to our first visit as clients at Special Beginnings Birth and Women's Center in Arnold today. I worked there for over a year as a nurse, and only recently stopped to give myself more availability for my "real" job, and for the pregnancy center. I love the atmosphere there, and I loved working there. I can totally see myself delivering in one of those rooms.

Unfortunately, my first appointment was with a temporary midwife standing in while another is on maternity leave. I'd never met her before, but she seemed nice enough. The visit itself, not so fun, since it included an in depth exam :( At this point, we're still a little early to hear baby on the doppler in the office, even though we've already heard it on sono. She didn't take my word about about my due date at first, which was a little annoying and not how the rest of the midwives operate. Any patient that keeps track of ovulation in order to prevent pregnancy for years can be trusted to give you accurate dates for her current pregnancy, and doesn't need to be told that "you know, the timing of ovulation can vary month to month." Duh.

It's a whole new experience for me to be on the pt end of things. It's just not the most comfortable feeling for me, and I think one of my coworkers put it well when she said it's the lack of control that bothers me. That's what I do like about being a "patient" at the birth center. My health care is just as much my responsibility as it is my midwives'. When I go in, I pee in a cup, and dip my own urine with test sticks. I weigh myself on their scales, and report the results of both to the midwife in the office. I'm not called a patient; I'm the client. Later on, the location of my delivery, method of pain relief, and care givers and visitors that are allowed to be present at my birth are all my decisions.

So, it was a neat day, because I get to join the ranks of the patients that I care for, but it's still my pregnancy--I don't have to give that up.

Much better! - 10wks 6days

Just a quick note today--those seabands? Yeah, I'm never taking them off again!

Accupressure might work? 10wks 5days

Just a quickie today--I've been feeling great in the nausea department for a couple of days, no vomiting in probably two days now. Today, I woke up late with only a few minutes to change, brush my teeth and rush out the door. No breakfast in bed, so slowly getting up... just go now! And my sea-bands didn't make it to work with me, which I didn't notice until I was sitting in rounds, feeling rather ucky. Another nausea-filled day of repeating my meals in reverse is almost over now, and I won't be forgetting those things again anytime soon!

I saw him! (Dan) - 10 weeks 4 days

So usually sonogram pictures are lame--they look like little white blobs. But it gets a little cooler when the blob is YOUR baby. Well last night we went to see the sonogram together. The white blob in motion on the screen looks like a tiny baby. It was really amazing to be looking at MY baby, moving around--squirming and kicking his legs and moving his arms. What used to look like a stoic image of someone else's baby was a beautiful movie of the tiny baby I love. He squirmed around unaware of his parents watching him, longing to reach through and hold him. The desire to hold him assuaged by knowing he's resting content inside the most perfect home short of Heaven--MY wife. And she loves him too as you can see from this most recent sonogram image!

--Dan

Getting a little easier - 10wks 4days

I'm almost afraid to write this, but I think the nausea may be subsiding a bit. If it truly is, then I'm a very lucky mom, since it really didn't get bad until the week of Christmas.

I've gotten a care package of nausea remedies from my mom, and tons of advice from anyone who knows that I'm pregnant. I've learned to eat constantly throughout the day so as to never have an empty stomach. Even at night, when I get up to the bathroom, I stop by the fridge on the way back to bed and have small snack. In the mornings before I get up, I put on the sea bands that my mom sent, and Dan brings me a bowl of cereal. I have preggie pops and I have doggie bags with me everywhere I go, but I'm having to use them less and less. And it seems that the last couple of days, I've had some queasiness, but not the overwhelming i'm-gonna-puke-now! feeling, and I haven't been vomiting much at all!

I realized at work that there's a spring in my step again, and a couple of people have told me that I'm looking better, so I'm happy, relieved, and still wearing those sea bands. (I'm a little scared to take them off!)

First Scare - 10wks 0days

I went to work today, which was good, since I was home yesterday and miserably vomiting the entire day. Work is a good thing for keeping one's mind off of misery. I was so miserable yesterday that I didn't check email or surf the net or do anything, and even this post is being added a week late because of all of the rediculous nausea.

At any rate, today was a little scary - when I got to work this morning I found that I was bleeding a little. Not much, but I had no reason to be bleeding, and of course was a little worried that this might be the start of a miscarriage. I sono'd myself and found a beautiful heart beating and a baby bouncing around like "Hey Mom, look at me!" He looked fine, so I called Dan to let him know what was going on. A quick prayer together and back to work.

Trying to keep my mind off of the bleeding. Every couple of hours I take a trip to the bathroom, followed by a sono, constantly talking to God about what's going on in my heart. Here's that trust issue again, rearing it's head. Dan is so beautiful in how he approaches these things in life. I'm a little more gritty, realistic. He is reassured that everything is fine, he's excited that the baby is doing well, he believes it's time for us to start a family, and that this baby will do fine. And if it doesn't, we'll deal with that when it happens. He has no proof that it's fine; I have experience saying that it very likely could not be fine. He could worry, but he doesn't. It doesn't come that easy for me, and I have to take my worry, over and over, back to God, lay it down. I go through my day and find I've picked it up again. I take it back, lay it down. I know in my heart that I don't have to carry it, but sometimes I have a hard time believing that.

So, the day goes on, the bleeding slows to almost nothing, the baby is still fine on sonogram. I go home to Dan and Eric working on our new bathroom. I treat myself to a spa night--a nice long shower, a face mask, a deep condition, a shave, all by candlelight. I spend the time praying, talking to the baby, enjoying this precious motherhood that is so new and fragile, and when I leave the bathroom, I am completely relaxed, stilled, quiet. I lay down on the couch, just for a minute, but end up falling asleep there, with Cocoa and Sammy curled around me, and the guys still working down the hall. For once, I don't dream, I just sleep.

A whole new baby - 9wks 4days

9wks 4 days
Originally uploaded by Toasted Salmon.

I got to see the baby again today, and he looks so big! At this point you can finally see more than just an oval in a sac. You can see a baby! He (or she) has, even on this old sono machine, a distinguishable head and body, with arms waving around, and legs bent up at the knees. And then!! Then he moved around! He was bouncing around like a Mexican jumping bean! He opened and closed his fists, and waved them around in front of his face and jumped and bounced, and then he curled back up in a little ball and laid down! How sweet!!! I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to see all this--it's truly amazing to see this miracle unfolding inside me, and I can't even really tell anything is going on.

Except, that is, for the nausea. The unending sea-sick feeling, where nothing is appetizing, everything smells, and puking occurs at random. It's been quite miserable, and I only seem to get significant relief when I'm busy at work. We get busy enough that I just don't have time to think about it, so I'm not as miserable. I still have to run to a trash can every so often, but at least I'm not feeling so enormously nauseated between those trips.

I keep telling myself that it's a good thing. My baby is growing and healthy, or else I wouldn't be feeling like this, and so, in a way, I can be thankful for it. And amazed that my body is really doing this thing. Just so amazed.

More exciting news!

Most of you know our good friend Bahari Harris, and if you don't know him, you might remember him speaking at our wedding...

We called him last night, to share our wonderful news, and he was wonderful news, too! Bahari and Mamie are getting married!!

They have been such good friends since we were all students at Virginia Tech, and even across a couple of states, and occasionally and ocean, we have all managed to keep in touch. We are so excited for them and can't wait to see what God has in store for them as they walk into this next season in life!

We love you guys!