Wow, it's been a while since I've been able to post, though I've been journaling at home. A lot has happened in a few weeks. The same week that Uncle John passed away, we lost a member of our church to suicide. Just as we were getting home and beginning to process everything, the Virginia Tech shootings rocked our world again. Yet, in the middle of the sadness and grief, Dan passed his exam for his contractor's license, we were baptized this past Sunday, and we've been celebrating the growth of this little one who now makes my belly visibly move when she kicks! Emotionally, there have been so many swings up and down, and the lesson has definitely been how unchanging God is.
There's a study I'm doing with my friend Kathryn called the Destined series. Throughout the study, they reinforce the faith principal, which relies on the fact that once you've established that the Word of God is true, you can trust it, even if your emotions and circumstances tell you otherwise. This is the essence of faith. Not believing in something when it feels right, and then abandoning it when it no longer produces the same emotions, but trusting that a good decision has been made and sticking with it. The same thing applies in marriage--you make a committment, a decision, and you stick with it, even when it's hard, even when it doesn't feel right. The only reason I can honestly see sticking with someone who is human and capable of hurting me so deeply, though, is because there is a God that I can trust. I know that the people around me will fail me, hurt me, leave me at some point--it's unavoidable in this life. However, God promises to never do those things, and even more, to give us new life without those inevitable pains, and that is something that's worth my faith.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
24 wks - Life remembered
Saturday April 14, 2007 24wks
My Uncle John died this Wednesday. I am so thankful to have had the chance to tell him goodbye in person. I’m also thankful for the chance to say my goodbye with Friends at his funeral today. Those of you who were at our wedding may remember that there was no preacher to say a service and have us repeat vows. Instead we were surrounded by people who loved us sharing stories of our lives and well wishes for our future. I love the church we go to at home, but there’s something about a meeting for worship for the purpose of laying someone to rest that is so healing, and I think it offers the best way to let someone go in a healthy way. Instead of someone saying a eulogy while everyone sits quietly, in a Friends meeting, you start with the sitting quietly, and before long, you’ve heard childhood memories, laughed and cried and shared your own stories, and you’ve thoroughly remembered the life of this person you loved. It was a beautiful day, and a beautiful life.
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Here is the obituary that was published after his death:
Raiford, John C.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Nags Head, NC
John Calvin Raiford, 80, a former resident of Alexandria, VA. and a resident of Nags Head, NC since 1992, passed away at his home on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 with his family by his side. Born in Southampton County, VA, he was the son of the late Philip Malone Raiford and Otelia West Raiford. He was a graduate of Ivor High School, Earlham College, earned his Masters of Education from the University of Virginia, and his Masters of Art from the University of Nebraska. He taught at Ivor High School, Thomas Dale High School in Chesterfield, Va, Waynesboro High School, and retired from T. C. Williams High School in Alexandria, VA, after teaching for more than 30 years; and he conducted student tours of Germany, Russia, Italy, France, and England. Mr. Raiford was a member of the Nags Head Board of Attestment; an active member of the Virginia Education Association, and the National Education Association.
He is survived by two sisters, Lorraine R. Sheffield of Waverly, VA, and Mae Brown and husband, David, of Greensboro, NC; a devoted friend of many years, Max Moore of Nags Head, NC; and his extended family of several nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by two brothers, George Philip Raiford and Walter Raiford; and one sister, Frances R. Neave.
Funeral services will be held Saturday, April 14, 2007 at 2 p.m. at Corinth Friends Meeting in Ivor, Virginia with Jeff Crim officiating. Interment will follow in Rosemont Cemetery, Sedley, Virginia. The family will receive friends Friday evening from 6:30 until 8:00 p.m. at the Purviance Chapel of J. T. Morriss & Son Funeral Homes and Cremation Service in Wakefield, Virginia. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Albermarle Hospice, P.O. Box 189, Elizabeth City, NC 27909, or Corinth Friends Meeting, 13494 Corinth Rd., Ivor, VA 23866. Condolences may be posted on our website at www.jtmorriss.com.
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On a lighter note, Baby Kee is officially viable today. While it may sound a bit morbid to think about, this is an important mile stone for people to cross and is something I think about on a daily basis at work as it pertains to my patients. It means that if something were to happen and we delivered the baby early, her chances of survival actually exist now, and are getting better each day.
My Uncle John died this Wednesday. I am so thankful to have had the chance to tell him goodbye in person. I’m also thankful for the chance to say my goodbye with Friends at his funeral today. Those of you who were at our wedding may remember that there was no preacher to say a service and have us repeat vows. Instead we were surrounded by people who loved us sharing stories of our lives and well wishes for our future. I love the church we go to at home, but there’s something about a meeting for worship for the purpose of laying someone to rest that is so healing, and I think it offers the best way to let someone go in a healthy way. Instead of someone saying a eulogy while everyone sits quietly, in a Friends meeting, you start with the sitting quietly, and before long, you’ve heard childhood memories, laughed and cried and shared your own stories, and you’ve thoroughly remembered the life of this person you loved. It was a beautiful day, and a beautiful life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is the obituary that was published after his death:
Raiford, John C.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Nags Head, NC
John Calvin Raiford, 80, a former resident of Alexandria, VA. and a resident of Nags Head, NC since 1992, passed away at his home on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 with his family by his side. Born in Southampton County, VA, he was the son of the late Philip Malone Raiford and Otelia West Raiford. He was a graduate of Ivor High School, Earlham College, earned his Masters of Education from the University of Virginia, and his Masters of Art from the University of Nebraska. He taught at Ivor High School, Thomas Dale High School in Chesterfield, Va, Waynesboro High School, and retired from T. C. Williams High School in Alexandria, VA, after teaching for more than 30 years; and he conducted student tours of Germany, Russia, Italy, France, and England. Mr. Raiford was a member of the Nags Head Board of Attestment; an active member of the Virginia Education Association, and the National Education Association.
He is survived by two sisters, Lorraine R. Sheffield of Waverly, VA, and Mae Brown and husband, David, of Greensboro, NC; a devoted friend of many years, Max Moore of Nags Head, NC; and his extended family of several nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by two brothers, George Philip Raiford and Walter Raiford; and one sister, Frances R. Neave.
Funeral services will be held Saturday, April 14, 2007 at 2 p.m. at Corinth Friends Meeting in Ivor, Virginia with Jeff Crim officiating. Interment will follow in Rosemont Cemetery, Sedley, Virginia. The family will receive friends Friday evening from 6:30 until 8:00 p.m. at the Purviance Chapel of J. T. Morriss & Son Funeral Homes and Cremation Service in Wakefield, Virginia. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Albermarle Hospice, P.O. Box 189, Elizabeth City, NC 27909, or Corinth Friends Meeting, 13494 Corinth Rd., Ivor, VA 23866. Condolences may be posted on our website at www.jtmorriss.com.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a lighter note, Baby Kee is officially viable today. While it may sound a bit morbid to think about, this is an important mile stone for people to cross and is something I think about on a daily basis at work as it pertains to my patients. It means that if something were to happen and we delivered the baby early, her chances of survival actually exist now, and are getting better each day.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
23wks 1day- Another family weekend!
Happy Easter!
We had a visit from Bob and Jordan this past weekend, and got to spend time with their granddaughter Jessie and her friend Brianna, as well as have dinner with Pat and Meg. It was fun adventures for all. The girls were so excited about the baby the first night they were here that we sent the boys out for pizza and promptly drug out the latest bin of baby clothes to sort through and ooh and ahh over. And of course, the next day, we had to go out and purchase a few more outfits for the baby. She’s going to be better dressed than I am, that’s for sure!
While Dan worked, the rest of us shopped and lunched and napped, and then we he got home, we headed down to the beach with Cocoa. The girls had a mission to accomplish—they were determined that since they were at the water, they should go swimming. Cocoa, of course, agreed. =) After quite a bit of hemming and hawing, and a little nudging, swim they did despite the mildly blustery weather. We went home to a fire and burgers and a visit from Pat and Meg. We did get quite a few name suggestions out of the weekend though.
I’m working this weekend, which is a little sad, since I’m missing Easter at our home church, Mariners. It’s amazing how many people don’t even know why the Easter holiday exists. The girls at work brought in eggs and dye kits and we decorated Easter eggs, but none of us could figure out how that relates to Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection on Easter Sunday. I’m sure someone out there knows. Or I could Google it. But here’s what I do know. Today is a very very special day. Way more special than Christmas, even, because about 2000 years ago, God came to earth in the form of a man, lived an amazing life in which he did all the things that humans do, but he didn’t get caught up in the baggage the way we do—he never sinned. He spent a few years teaching people about himself and the relationship he wants to have with us and then he let those people kill him. Not because he’s a good teacher, or because he was a prophet and it was his time. But, because he was paving the way for us to be with God. See, a truly just God cannot simply ignore sin—it must be paid for. The only one who can pay a debt like that for others is someone who doesn’t already owe his own debt. Jesus’ death on the cross did just that, but it was his resurrection that we’re celebrating. There is victory over death, a reason to hope beyond this life, and a grace that covers anything I can come with to screw up this life. God promises the same resurrection for those who recieve His gift of grace. That, to me, is pretty amazing. If you’re interested in more of the details on the who, how, and why, check out this short but informative read: More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell
We had a visit from Bob and Jordan this past weekend, and got to spend time with their granddaughter Jessie and her friend Brianna, as well as have dinner with Pat and Meg. It was fun adventures for all. The girls were so excited about the baby the first night they were here that we sent the boys out for pizza and promptly drug out the latest bin of baby clothes to sort through and ooh and ahh over. And of course, the next day, we had to go out and purchase a few more outfits for the baby. She’s going to be better dressed than I am, that’s for sure!
While Dan worked, the rest of us shopped and lunched and napped, and then we he got home, we headed down to the beach with Cocoa. The girls had a mission to accomplish—they were determined that since they were at the water, they should go swimming. Cocoa, of course, agreed. =) After quite a bit of hemming and hawing, and a little nudging, swim they did despite the mildly blustery weather. We went home to a fire and burgers and a visit from Pat and Meg. We did get quite a few name suggestions out of the weekend though.
I’m working this weekend, which is a little sad, since I’m missing Easter at our home church, Mariners. It’s amazing how many people don’t even know why the Easter holiday exists. The girls at work brought in eggs and dye kits and we decorated Easter eggs, but none of us could figure out how that relates to Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection on Easter Sunday. I’m sure someone out there knows. Or I could Google it. But here’s what I do know. Today is a very very special day. Way more special than Christmas, even, because about 2000 years ago, God came to earth in the form of a man, lived an amazing life in which he did all the things that humans do, but he didn’t get caught up in the baggage the way we do—he never sinned. He spent a few years teaching people about himself and the relationship he wants to have with us and then he let those people kill him. Not because he’s a good teacher, or because he was a prophet and it was his time. But, because he was paving the way for us to be with God. See, a truly just God cannot simply ignore sin—it must be paid for. The only one who can pay a debt like that for others is someone who doesn’t already owe his own debt. Jesus’ death on the cross did just that, but it was his resurrection that we’re celebrating. There is victory over death, a reason to hope beyond this life, and a grace that covers anything I can come with to screw up this life. God promises the same resurrection for those who recieve His gift of grace. That, to me, is pretty amazing. If you’re interested in more of the details on the who, how, and why, check out this short but informative read: More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowell
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
22wks 3days - A family weekend
This past weekend we took a trip south and stayed with my parents for a brief visit. It wasn't as long as we'd like, but it was nice to see everyone, and it was jam packed with family that we don't often get to visit with. Saturday we caught up on a little sleep, then headed to the beach where we got to spend a little time with my Aunt Mae and Aunt Tootsie, and visit a little with my Uncle John.
My Uncle John isn't doing so well, and we wanted to take the chance to see him while we could. He gets tired very easily these days, so we couldn't stay long, but I got to have a sweet conversation with him and share a picture of the baby. The best part was that we decided on her middle name, and I got to share that with him, too. He has always been a favorite among all the cousins, and it was so sweet to be able to spend that time with him and share his joy about our little one. He speaks slowly and deliberately from the strokes that he's had, but his mind is clear, and he spoke frankly about his condition and with obvious joy at getting to be with the people that he loves. It was a visit that I will treasure.
We flew home (the return trip of little Maxine Tallulah's first plane ride!) and had pizza at Joe's for lunch. My mom actually got to feel the baby move! I sat back feeling kind of stuffed and she was kicking and Mom put her hand on my belly and got a tiny wallop! When we got hom, we enjoyed a walk with the dogs before having my mom's family over for supper. I stuffed myself on yummy corn pudding... mmmm! We oohed and aahhhed over baby clothes and giggled over baby names and generally had fun.
My Uncle John isn't doing so well, and we wanted to take the chance to see him while we could. He gets tired very easily these days, so we couldn't stay long, but I got to have a sweet conversation with him and share a picture of the baby. The best part was that we decided on her middle name, and I got to share that with him, too. He has always been a favorite among all the cousins, and it was so sweet to be able to spend that time with him and share his joy about our little one. He speaks slowly and deliberately from the strokes that he's had, but his mind is clear, and he spoke frankly about his condition and with obvious joy at getting to be with the people that he loves. It was a visit that I will treasure.
We flew home (the return trip of little Maxine Tallulah's first plane ride!) and had pizza at Joe's for lunch. My mom actually got to feel the baby move! I sat back feeling kind of stuffed and she was kicking and Mom put her hand on my belly and got a tiny wallop! When we got hom, we enjoyed a walk with the dogs before having my mom's family over for supper. I stuffed myself on yummy corn pudding... mmmm! We oohed and aahhhed over baby clothes and giggled over baby names and generally had fun.
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