I just got to see him again!!! He's grown so big! Measuring almost a whole centimeter from head to butt, he's enormously bigger than last week. This machine was a little older, though, so the photos aren't wonderful, but he's definitely there and growing. We even got to listen to his heartbeat--much faster this time, and so reassuring.
And that's the funny part. I didn't realize how worried I had been. This all still feels so unreal to me, that I can't quite believe that this baby is growing and thriving. I still find myself preparing for the day when this is all over and I have to let everyone know that I'm not really pregnant, that we're not really having a baby. It's unrational, I know, but I just feel like I've made the whole thing up, and I'm about to be found out. I'm not sure what will make it more real, or when I will start to believe that maybe, just maybe, I really am pregnant, and this baby really is growing, and we really are having a baby!
Maybe when we get to share the news with our families, it will be more real. I'm looking forward to telling my mom most of all at this point. Every time I talk to her, I want to tell her about my nausea, my crampiness, ask how she felt... and in less than a week, I get to! I won't be able to wait for Christmas day, and I don't want to cheat either of us out of that time spent together, so I'm planning to wake them up when we arrive late Friday night with an early Christmas gift. Dan and I got frames from Khols this weekend, and I made a little note to go in them congratulating each family member on their new role (grandparents, great aunts and uncles, greatgrandparents, etc), announcing that a photo will arrive in August. For the grand and great grandparents, we got double frames, and I'm planning to include a sonogram photo as well. It turned out really cute--I spent a large part of the weekend working on them, and I can't wait to see their faces when they unwrap their gifts!
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