We're having a baby! - 4wks 4days

This weekend I started to think my period might be late. I'm pretty sure I know when I ovulate, but hey, I could be wrong. I've been hopeful and dissapointed, and scared and relieved before. But I've never been late. This weekend I was officially late. So, while we were at the grocery store, we bought a pregnancy test. Before we did that, though, in a fit of what I thought was pre-menstrual rage, I managed to throw a box of frozen mozzarella sticks at Dan. Hooked him on the chin. I have since apologized profusely for my momentary lapse in sanity. My girlfriend says this should have been my first clue.

But, like I said, maybe I was wrong about being late, so I didn't take the test right away. By Monday night I was driving myself crazy with what-if's, so I took the test. I watched for a second, just long enough to see that there might be a faint blue line showing up before shoving the test in Dan's face. I couldn't look, couldn't see, couldn't dare to hope. I was just crying and asking him what it said. And he was sitting there, looking at this thing, kind of awestruck. "I think we're having a baby," he said. We were both so excited, and I couldn't stop crying, and we kept looking at this little plus sign like it might start crying or need it's diaper changed any second.

It felt, it feels, so unreal. I don't really feel any different. A little tired, a few waves of nausea. I'm so excited, but also very cautious. I'm 4weeks and 4 days pregnant today, which is VERY early. I take care of women all the time at work who lose their babies at 5, 8, 11 weeks. I know there will never be a point when there are no longer risks, but I don't know how I could handle telling everyone today, and then miscarrying soon, and having to talk to everyone about it. So, for now, we're keeping it mostly between us, and out in the anonymous space that is the blogosphere. And I'm thinking that this will make a great christmas gift for the grandparents =) I've shared the news with my best friend, and hopefully I can hold out for Christmas to tell everyone else.