It still feels unreal - 4wks 5days

It's only been 3 days since we found out that we're expecting, and there are so many emotions to deal with. My friend left me her childrearing library before taking off for Africa this summer, and this morning I find myself perusing the passages, wanting to experience this life that's growing inside me, when I really don't feel very pregnant at all. I am a little tired, and very crampy, which scares me a little. I find myself driving over speed bumps and wondering, "Is the baby ok?" Yes, I know how rediculous that is, but I still think it.

The biggest thing I've been dealing with these past few days is wanting to share the news with everyone so badly. We will wait for Christmas, but I so badly want to share this with my mom! I keep imagining everyone sitting around the tree in her house, watching her and Daddy open their present together, and how excited they'll be and how wonderful to share the news with everyone at once in person. And that's the thing, too. I don't want to tell them without Dan, and I don't want to tell them over the phone, and Christmas is only a few weeks away...

So, for now, I'll read books, keep myself busy, and keep this record for my mom, so she won't have missed these first few days. She's a grandma and she thinks that's only because she has a grandog!

And my favorite excerpt from my library perusing today...
"When you are pregnant for the first time you feel superior to every frazzled mother chasing children in the supermarket and you know you'll never be that way. Savor that confidence. This faith in your own maternal wisdom won't reach that peak again until you are a grandmother." --The Mother's Almanac